(A post from Christy Fehlen originally posted on www.agrowingfamily.wordpress.com
I have been reading about the life of Moses. Starting prior to his birth. It is surreal to me that even before he was born, his destiny was in the hands of God and those who feared Him. The hope of restoration and reconciliation rested in the birth of an unwanted child. The Hebrew people endured the threat of death and destruction everyday. The bondage of slavery was real. They were not in control of anything including the well being of their own children. Children born into a life of turmoil if they were given life at all. The fate of the male children rested in the hands of the midwives. The king had commanded that all Hebrew male children were to be put to death upon delivery. Exodus 1:17- But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt had commanded them, but let the boys live. When questioned by the King, the midwives responded that Hebrew women are not like Egyptian woman, for they are vigorous , and they give birth before the midwife can get to them. So God was good to the midwives and the people multiplied, and became very mighty. And it came about because the midwives feared God, that He established households for them.
It wasn’t like the threat of death and destruction ended there. Good job midwives, here are families of your own to care for, now you are blessed. No the adversity just intensified. They were still being asked to do kill and destroy innocent lives. Yet they held strong to their faith and fear of God above all else. What quiet and intense strength they must have had. It seems like God had abandoned his people and left them to die a slow and painful existence yet you see his provincial hand upon these lives. How do you see beyond the years of slavery? These midwives had faith to believe that God would not abandon them. They had an inner drive that enabled them to think beyond themselves to future generations. The face of adversity brought strength in numbers.
This sets the stage for the birth of Moses. A man from the house of Levi went and married a daughter of Levi. The woman conceived and bore a son; and when she saw that he was beautiful, she hid him for three months. Jochebed, the birth Mother of Moses is a hero. To become pregnant with the understanding that if this child is a male, he will die unless she does something. I love that it says when she saw that he was beautiful, she hid him for 3 months. 3 excruciating months. I honestly question where my sanity would be.
A few years ago I watched a Mother give up a child whom she brought into this world. It was a painful and difficult journey but she came to the place where she wanted to give this child something more. She knew that because of her own circumstances she could not parent this little one, yet she still brought her into this world. She will always be this child’s mother and forever this child will remember her. Life had been so hard on this young Mom, she was scarred both physically and emotionally. She just wanted someone to love her and be proud of her. She gave the ultimate gift, she gave someone else an opportunity to love and parent her child.
When I read the story of Moses I see a woman who bravely gave away a child so that He could have life. One that she hid for 3 months before releasing him into a basket to a new home and a new future. My dear friends are awaiting adopting a beautiful little girl from China. They are eagerly anticipating her arrival. They long to give her a home where she can have a different life. I am contending in prayer with them for her arrival, yet my heart can’t help but grieve for this mother who brought this beautiful little girl into the world. No less significant or important in this little ones life. One could not happen without the other.
(A post from Christy Fehlen originally posted at www.agrowingfamily.wordpress.com)
Adopting a child is on my list of things to do before I turn fifty. I am 35 so I have a few years yet but I have recently had an awakening in my heart regarding adding to our family again. I have no desire to give birth to another child and Joseph is thankful. Pregnancy was extremely hard on our entire family. And the farther removed we become from changing diapers the more I think this is a crazy idea. A few friends have recently adopted or are awaiting clearance for a child to become on paper legally theirs. The waiting process is taxing on ones mind and spirit. You feel as if your heart will be ripped in two. Some of my friends desperately want to be a parent but the struggles of infertility have stopped them from giving birth to a child. My heart is sad for them. The Bible is filled with relationship heart aches. Stories of infertility, children born out of infidelity, abandonment and adoption. My hope is that as I focus my thoughts I will be renewed in my passion to wait when things are difficult and contend for answers during those moments that seem as if time is standing still.
The past two years I have seen families torn apart by difficult choices. I have seen addictions take the upper hand and cloud the priorities of those held captive by them. I have watched a mother grieve as she recognized that she could not parent the child she brought into the world. I have seen children whose innocence has been robbed and the cycle continues. Sometimes I am left with more questions than answers. Why God, would one couple long for a baby for years and another cast aside the one she has because she is consumed with her own needs?
Two summers ago I set up a tent in my backyard. I pitched my tent out of sheer frustration and faith. The Old Testament is filled with testimonies of those waiting for an answer. An altar was built and the wait began, literally. A prayer of deliverance was lifted up and the wait continued. I was waiting for our foster parent licensing to become official. I had dotted all the I’s and crossed all the T’s. I sent in more paperwork than necessary and yet the process was not without bumps. Please resubmit this form. We are sorry to inform you that we need you to fill this out again, we have temporarily miss-placed it. I filled out the same background check five times. I angered a lot of office workers in the process because I would call everyday to check on the progress. I got in touch with someone working for the State Legislature and for a few days things were really moving. I knew that action would bring about results. It did not. All it brought was more time to wait. I was emotional. It took nearly 6 months for our license to become complete. When I look back on that, it really was not all that long, yet when I was going through it, time seemed to stand still.
The past two years have brought a whole new set of questions spurred on by the lives of 8 foster children and the biological families and multiple others whom I have become connected with thanks to the world of foster care. I have watched children weep as a parent made a choice that in turn affected them. I have watched parents battle with addictions that kept them teetering back in forth. One step forward, two steps back. I have watched the disappointment when things did not go the way all had hoped . I have also experienced broken families reunited. Making a new story for themselves as they forge ahead, one day at a time. Waiting….for how some of the stories will turn outh as caused some serious anxiety on my part. It has also kept me in a perpetual state of dependency on God. I can’t fix each of the families but I can pray for deliverance and strength for each of them and for myself.
Waiting allows us time to pray and believe for things beyond ourselves. A prayer of deliverance, a prayer of expectation, a prayer of peace, a prayer of faith, a prayer of reconciliation, a prayer of hope. As much as I hate the waiting, I can’t live without it. I pitched my tent and God revealed himself to me in ways I could not explain or expect. The questions keep coming…and I get upset when I don’t have the answers but the leading and longing are always the same. Go pitch a tent, and see what God will do.
Breanna Hemingway – Receive Grace – June 6th, 2010
